Toys
by flick knife
Summary: Near contemplates the loss of Matt and Mello.


**Wondering how Near would react to the two deaths. Came up with this. **

Toys

"Ten minutes," Rester informed Near, eyeing the clock on the computer screen. "They're readying the transport now, I'll go make sure everything's been loaded up."

Near nodded, not look up from the figures before him, placed in the shape of a perfect semi-circle.

"I'll leave to you gather your things," Rester continued. "I'll return when it is time to leave."

Again Near nodded his head of shaggy white curls, muttering a thank you as he stared intently at the middle figure. He heard Rester's footsteps as he left the room, and waited until the door clicked shut before plucking the small plastic toy from it's peers.

It was Mello. A small, rotund version of him. His clothing and hair style completely accurate, along with the scar across his face. Something that Near had never seen completely in person, merely on the surveillance tapes he rewatched after Mello's visit. He hadn't expected the gruesome injury to be there, but it didn't surprise him in the least bit. It was so… _Mello_ to go out and get himself hurt. Near almost smiled to himself as he traced the plastic smirk he'd arranged to be on the toy. Evil, almost devilish, a contrast to the tiny rosary inked round his neck.

With a barely suppressed sigh, Near reached out and selected the newest addition to his group of toys. It was perhaps the roughest of them all, having only been created in the early hours of the morning, but Near felt he had to make at least something to commemorate the sacrifice the boy had made. An unanticipated death, Near was sure, but one that occurred all the same. Perhaps the most identifying figure on the doll was the shock of red hair, or perhaps the goggles. And it was only when you looked more closely that you could see the tiny stick protruding from it's mouth, and the small PSP in it's back pocket.

He cupped the two figures, one in each palm, and felt an irrational onslaught of guilt at keeping the two separate, instantly bringing his hands together and allowing them to roll into one another. The pairs relationship had been obvious, even in Wammy's house. Matt was the only person Mello allowed to disrupt his studies. Nights that used to be spent reading and rereading books of an advanced level were changed to nights spent talking when Matt came along. Small things people did, that would cause the temperamental Mello to snap and shout, Matt could do constantly, all day if he wished, without Mello so much as raising his voice at him.

Near remembered when Mello left, the night in which they were informed their _beloved_ L was dead.

It was the first time he'd ever seen Matt break down. And he'd seen a fair few of the orphans break down. Being a genius doesn't stop you from having emotions, in most cases, but it does stop you from leading a normal life. Sometimes the pressure would get too much and, although they were highly intelligent, and it was illogical to wish such a thing, they wanted to be normal.

Matt's breakdown had nothing to do with wanting to be normal, however. The fourteen year old had stormed into Near's room, silent tears starting to pool in his goggles, and ranting at top speed about how Mello wasn't the nicest person for leaving, throwing in a few choice words that he shouldn't have been using at that age. Near was never quite sure about Matt's reasoning for coming to see him, but he assumed he was trying to feel closer to Mello. He must have been attempting to find some essence of his lost friend, ever since the house keeper stupidly changed and washed Mello's sheets.

Near could have done more to help the boy, he decided as he stared at the plastic figurine in his hands. Possibly said something, or done something, but he didn't know what. And, if he was perfectly honest, he was almost happy that Mello had gone. That the competition had upped and left. He would no longer have to put up with Mello's emotional outbursts. Near was only young, and despite how high his IQ was, sometimes his age just got the better of him. Which may have been why his concerns were so petty.

After that one occasion, it seemed Matt had just broken. He didn't really care any more, it seemed. He didn't care about being smart, he didn't care about friends, he didn't even seem to care that Mello was gone. It was like his mind had been wiped clean.

Near sighed and ran his thumb over the figures face, as if he could wipe away the hurt that was caused when Mello left. Because really, it was only Mello being reckless and stupid, not thinking about others, doing what he always did. But it was what he always did, it was the Mello way, and no one could really blame him for it.

Near and Matt left the orphanage at around the same time, Near slightly after Matt, taking a few more weeks to gather his data on the Kira case before setting off to America. It seemed Matt also went to America, Near discovered when he decided to try and have Matt's movements watched. To LA. Matt knew Mello so well he knew he'd moved country. So well, he knew what state.

Near often wished he could have the same connection with another person, but work prohibited it. It would not do to have such distractions as a significant other half. So it was pushed to the back of his mind, only resurfacing on nights he worked late, sat in a chair and twirling his hair around his finger. When everyone else had gone home, or to bed, and he was left alone.

Near was just as surprised as the other agents, even though he didn't show it, when satellite pictures picked up Matt walking with Mello in the streets of LA. Mello's movements stiff and restricted, most of his upper body covered by a large hooded jacket. But the tacky leather pants were undoubtedly Mello's style. And really, who else would Matt be talking to so avidly after having no friends all these years.

They spent a lot of time in Matt's apartment, something Near felt confirmed their relationship, although he didn't think too deeply into it, and confirmed the fact they were planning something. Though at the time he was unsure what.

After four years apart, the weeks they spent together, barely even a couple of months, seemed far too short to do any justice to their relationship. It was unfair, even Near could see that, a small feat for him considering he'd never been in a relationship. The time they had between being reunited and destroyed seemed to be fates big "fuck you" in their faces. God, if there was one, Near never wanted to rule out the possibility, seemed to have ignored the obscene amounts of Hail Mary's that had spilled from Mello's lips, and smashed their lives on the same day.

This was probably the best way though, Near felt. If that was how Matt reacted when Mello had left, then it would have been ten times worse with Mello dead. And Mello was likely to have been even worse than that. Always running with his emotions, unable to keep them in check. Mello would have given Matt the world, had he asked for it.

Near had been tracking both boys during the kidnapping. Staring avidly at the many screens showing different angles of the various scenarios. He watched on as the motorbike driven by Mello sped away, Matt's car going in the complete opposite direction. He watched as the large amount of police cars chased the car, rather than the bike. An unfamiliar feeling of dread gathering in his stomach, barely hearing the shouts that the motorbike had gone into a truck, and that the new vehicle must now be traced.

And then, on screen six, Matt's car was surrounded. Near couldn't recognise the make, it wasn't something he was interested in, but he did see there was no way out. He knew what would happen before Matt even opened the door. And sure enough, as the teen climbed out his battered car, they all shot on sight. Bullets ploughing into his flesh. Of course, on the hazy satellite and news cameras, he couldn't' see the bullets, but the speed at which Matt went down, without a shot to the head, indicated that far more than one hole would be in his body.

Near's eyes had widened slightly, as he saw the boy he'd lived with for so many years drop to the floor. Rester was by his side, standing close as he indicated a different screen.

"There's a satellite signal being sent down into there," he'd said. "Showing the news."

Near didn't even have to ask what was on the news, it didn't take much to figure it out. Right this second Mello was probably staring avidly at a picture of his best friend and lover, lying dead in the road, alone.

The brief veering of the truck had back this point up, Mello almost driving the large vehicle into the opposite lane on the road. Near had watched the screen as his rival drove, mind calculating rapidly, trying to figure out what was going to happen next.

It seemed he reached the conclusion as it happened. The truck swerved again, far more dramatically this time. Going off course and staying there as it crashed through bushes and into the wall of an old church. Mello was having a heart attack. Kira had beaten Mello.

Near had wondered if Mello had welcomed the death. Having just witnessed his life perish on a small screen, the tearing of his heart must have been a literal replica of the heartbreak he'd felt moments before. Near wondered if Mello's hand flew to his chest, whether he panicked and flailed as his heart gave out. But he doubted it. Mello seemed to be the type who would die far more gracefully than that. Hell, Mello was the only one he knew that had half blown themselves up and then continued on. It was just Mello's way. No, Mello probably just sat there and let it happen. In the sanctuary of a church, albeit an abandoned one. Desperately hoping that his religion would reunite him with his partner, yet knowing it was likely he'd go to hell.

Near never understood Mello's faith. How he could believe in something so illogical, that didn't have proof and had flaws in the very book that dictated it. He almost thought it stupid of Mello to believe in such things. Mello was clever, not as much as Near, but still clever. It made no sense to the young boy why Mello would believe in something so irrational.

But as things slowly clicked into place in Near's mind, as evidence seemed to surface before his very eyes, as the truck exploded, he realised Mello had given his life to catch Kira. When the notebooks were found, he's prompted the finally piece of evidence, that even Light was unable to worm his way out of. Mello had brought justice to those Kira had killed, and had stopped him killing again. And Near secretly hoped, despite his misgivings about religion, that for those reasons Mello had made it to heaven.

He clutched the figures tightly with clammy palms, staring intently at the crude L figure at the end of the broken semi-circle. They were all dead, the two in his hands, the one before him. The people he'd been competing against, trying to beat, trying to be like, were dead. Not being the most sociable person, he often felt alone, but with this realisation it seemed to hit him harder than before. Isolation came with being a mastermind, yet that hadn't stopped the others. L had become almost friends with Light, before he died. And Matt and Mello had each other. All Near had was his toys.

"We're ready," Rester's voice came through the doorway Near hadn't even hear open. "We must leave promptly if we wish to get to the meeting place on time."

Near nodded, pocketing the two dolls in his hands, and scooping up the rest. With one finger he hooked up the L mask next to him, swinging it by the elastic as he shuffled towards the door.

Rester held the door open as the teen wandered through and then followed, what he now considered to be, his young charge down the hall and out the building.

There was a strange tension in the air as the four members of the SPK climbed into the car, the atmosphere almost buzzing with excitement as Halle started the car and they drove towards the building in which they would finally meet Light. And confront and defeat Kira.


End file.
